Pin It
Monday, March 22, 2010
A Tribute
On the night of February 2, I got after my second oldest son, Nikolas, for not being in bed well after bedtime. The next morning, I woke to this...
And the whole day I was treated like a queen. Kids can sure make you tired, but life without them is something I'd rather not think about! Pin It
And the whole day I was treated like a queen. Kids can sure make you tired, but life without them is something I'd rather not think about! Pin It
Girls Weekend!!
What happens when 3 women skip town and seclude themselves in a far off cabin for three days?
The men take over and the 12 kids left behind learn to live without Mom for a short time. I have never been an advocate for mother's needing lots of "me" time. I mean, we obviously need to see to our own physical and spiritual needs or we will have nothing to offer. But I do believe it can be taken too far. However, this little weekend getaway was just what the doctor ordered. It gave each of us a chance to step back and re-evaluate. We weren't 3 teenagers sitting around in our hot tub giggling over cute boys. Quite honestly, we spent a great deal of time talking about the families we were away from. We tossed around ideas and shared opinions to the point that I believe we each went home with renewed purpose. We had planned to exercise on this little trip, however somehow that just never came to fruition. But we did get fantastic ab workouts with all the laughing we did!!
Okay, so maybe it doesn't look real exciting...but Shelby was chilling, which is a beautiful thing!
Heidi, all smiles!
At the Dixie Stampede we learned that it is okay to eat a full chicken (minus the head) with your bare hands. And licking your fingers is a necessity because if you just attempt to wipe the grease onto the napkins you'll only adds shreds of said napkin to your still greasy hands. We learned that the guy sitting next to you who keeps jabbing you with his elbow isn't really a bad person...he is just living in cramped quarters. We also learned that certain attire is appropriate at the Stampede--cowboy boots and hats and blue jeans or skirts. And some is not---heels and sleeveless dresses. :)
We played Dutch Blitz and Banana Grams...I don't consider myself a game person, but I was really getting into it! And we couldn't not shoot pool since there was a giant pool table sitting in what otherwise would probably have been the dining room. It very quickly became evident that none of the three of us have been hanging around bars or pool halls in the recent past! Several hours perusing a warehouse discount bookstore proved very fruitful. And then we started the journey home.
I had to take this picture. The funny thing was, our GPS was indeed wrong!
Back to real life and the reality that we are each mothers of multiple children with a job to do. How blessed it is to be needed, even though at times that "need" can wear you down. There are days when you just want to throw in the towel and give up. The task is too great. It requires too much energy. But always something reminds you that while daunting, it is so worth it. In the end, a job well done is an eternal success.
Thank you, Shelby and Heidi, for an absolutely amazing weekend! Let's do it again sometime! Pin It
The men take over and the 12 kids left behind learn to live without Mom for a short time. I have never been an advocate for mother's needing lots of "me" time. I mean, we obviously need to see to our own physical and spiritual needs or we will have nothing to offer. But I do believe it can be taken too far. However, this little weekend getaway was just what the doctor ordered. It gave each of us a chance to step back and re-evaluate. We weren't 3 teenagers sitting around in our hot tub giggling over cute boys. Quite honestly, we spent a great deal of time talking about the families we were away from. We tossed around ideas and shared opinions to the point that I believe we each went home with renewed purpose. We had planned to exercise on this little trip, however somehow that just never came to fruition. But we did get fantastic ab workouts with all the laughing we did!!
Okay, so maybe it doesn't look real exciting...but Shelby was chilling, which is a beautiful thing!
Heidi, all smiles!
At the Dixie Stampede we learned that it is okay to eat a full chicken (minus the head) with your bare hands. And licking your fingers is a necessity because if you just attempt to wipe the grease onto the napkins you'll only adds shreds of said napkin to your still greasy hands. We learned that the guy sitting next to you who keeps jabbing you with his elbow isn't really a bad person...he is just living in cramped quarters. We also learned that certain attire is appropriate at the Stampede--cowboy boots and hats and blue jeans or skirts. And some is not---heels and sleeveless dresses. :)
We played Dutch Blitz and Banana Grams...I don't consider myself a game person, but I was really getting into it! And we couldn't not shoot pool since there was a giant pool table sitting in what otherwise would probably have been the dining room. It very quickly became evident that none of the three of us have been hanging around bars or pool halls in the recent past! Several hours perusing a warehouse discount bookstore proved very fruitful. And then we started the journey home.
I had to take this picture. The funny thing was, our GPS was indeed wrong!
Back to real life and the reality that we are each mothers of multiple children with a job to do. How blessed it is to be needed, even though at times that "need" can wear you down. There are days when you just want to throw in the towel and give up. The task is too great. It requires too much energy. But always something reminds you that while daunting, it is so worth it. In the end, a job well done is an eternal success.
Thank you, Shelby and Heidi, for an absolutely amazing weekend! Let's do it again sometime! Pin It
Friday, March 19, 2010
St. Patrick's Day!!
My very green little family! I, of course, also wore green that day and I'm fairly certain it was a little overkill! Oh well!
Pin It
Pin It
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
A meal...by Alex
So it seemed like a great idea to start having the kids put together and serve a meal as independently as possible. It would be wonderful if when each child, boy or girl, left home they were fully capable of doing typical household tasks such as laundry, cooking and cleaning. In theory, this sounds great but I was very concerned about how much extra time it was going to take each evening during the training process. Lucky for me, I made the mistake of talking about my idea out loud to the children. And wouldn't you know it, they think it is fantastic!! I totally expected to be met with grumbles and groans about the extra work they'd have to do. And I'm not naive enough to think that day won't come. But at present, they are thrilled with this new role.
First up was Alexander. Normally I go in order of age, either from youngest to oldest or vice versa. However, this time Alex REALLY wanted to go first. He is literally the "middle child" so he never gets to go first...or even second. Well, he did this time.
He did this completely on his own from start to finish. I wasn't even in the kitchen. Now granted, it was just Velveeta Mac and Cheese from a box but he came up with the idea to add the peas. I thought it was pretty clever! Probably could have used a side salad or some fresh veggies on the side, but I allowed the baggies of trail mix to pass. Hannah kindly set the table for him. It was soooo nice to be free to do other things during the meal prep time! I'm warming to the idea!!! Pin It
First up was Alexander. Normally I go in order of age, either from youngest to oldest or vice versa. However, this time Alex REALLY wanted to go first. He is literally the "middle child" so he never gets to go first...or even second. Well, he did this time.
He did this completely on his own from start to finish. I wasn't even in the kitchen. Now granted, it was just Velveeta Mac and Cheese from a box but he came up with the idea to add the peas. I thought it was pretty clever! Probably could have used a side salad or some fresh veggies on the side, but I allowed the baggies of trail mix to pass. Hannah kindly set the table for him. It was soooo nice to be free to do other things during the meal prep time! I'm warming to the idea!!! Pin It
Friday, March 12, 2010
Parenting Pandemonium
As a mother I am constantly accessing the effectiveness of my parenting techniques and I am very seldom pleased with myself in this regard. Now in my own defense, I do have five incredibly different children, and the same strategies do not work for every child. It is all too easy to fall into the pit of despair, feeling like you are a complete flop as a parent. Especially if you have been "blessed" with a more resistant child.
I recently heard about The Total Transformation Program by James Lehman and in my desperation to get a grip, decided to give it a try. I will be the first to say that I have awesome kids. I'll also be the first to tell you that they all have their own unique issues. Some of those issues are more pronounced than others and are more obvious to the casual observer. These are the ones that I find myself most uncomfortable with. You know, the struggles that seem to scream out that I have ineffective parenting skills!! The ones that make me feel like I should just hang a huge sign around my neck, proclaiming myself a BAD MOM! Essentially this program is for the parent...a how-to of sorts, though certainly not a "parenting manual". One of my very favorite quotes that I have come across so far while listening is that "You must parent the child you have and not the child you wish you had." That spoke so clearly to me of the need to stop expecting my children to be perfect. To stop being surprised when misbehavior surfaces. Maybe even to embrace these unpleasant situations and consider them training sessions! (Okay, I'd be lying if I said I am actually embracing the opportunities, but it sounded good!)
These come in mostly audio form, so I've been listening to them in the car as I transport the kids back and forth from school. This morning, the lesson was hitting so close to home that I turned to Micah and actually told him it was sort of freaking me out that this guy seemed to know EXACTLY what is happening in our house. A moment later, Lehman began talking about the problem with casing, which would take a whole nother blog post to explain. Either way, I initially thought he said, "The problem with Kasey" and immediately hit the off button. I told Micah this whole thing was getting waaayy too personal for me. He gave me that silly smile he gives when he is really thinking I'm half crazy, but loves me too much to actually say it. And then he informed me what the guy had actually said. Goes to show you just how touchy I am about the subject!! :)
Anyway, I am learning that I am a very defensive parent. When I tell a child to do something and am met with a negative response, I immediately begin to justify the reason why I need my request to be met. My kids have trained me to tip-toe around there trigger points. If I know something is likely going to be met with a struggle, I am very apt to avoid it entirely. I want to learn, and in turn teach my children, that it is okay not to like everything. They don't have to have warm, fuzzy feeling about cleaning their room or completing their homework. But they do need to learn to channel those feelings appropriately and obey in spite of them. Kids are so inclined to think things aren't fair or to play the victim of mistreatment. My job as a parent is to instill in them how futile it is to focus on fairness. An example Lehman gave, which made my kids laugh, was of a driver who decided that he didn't feel much like following the posted speed limit. Upon being pulled over and issued a speeding ticket, how much weight do you think telling the officer that the speed limit isn't fair will carry?? Absolutely none. In fact, that officer is very likely to have a good laugh at the absurdity of such an excuse for a violation of law.
Obviously, parenting is tough and intensely complex. It is a rough world to grow up in, with distractions everywhere that threaten to pull our kids hearts away from us. Grieving children, whether due to death, divorce or some other tragic situation have an even more difficult road. Encourage those mothers (and fathers) around you. Offer a hand when it seems appropriate. Be quick to assist and VERY SLOW to judge. That child who is laying prostrate on the floor of the grocery store screaming for all he's worth has a story. And the mother (or father) who seems, at a glance, to be so miserably failing in his/her role also has a story. You just never know. If nothing else seems appropriate, offer a smile and a quick prayer on their behalf. And then commit yourself to parenting the child YOU have! Pin It
I recently heard about The Total Transformation Program by James Lehman and in my desperation to get a grip, decided to give it a try. I will be the first to say that I have awesome kids. I'll also be the first to tell you that they all have their own unique issues. Some of those issues are more pronounced than others and are more obvious to the casual observer. These are the ones that I find myself most uncomfortable with. You know, the struggles that seem to scream out that I have ineffective parenting skills!! The ones that make me feel like I should just hang a huge sign around my neck, proclaiming myself a BAD MOM! Essentially this program is for the parent...a how-to of sorts, though certainly not a "parenting manual". One of my very favorite quotes that I have come across so far while listening is that "You must parent the child you have and not the child you wish you had." That spoke so clearly to me of the need to stop expecting my children to be perfect. To stop being surprised when misbehavior surfaces. Maybe even to embrace these unpleasant situations and consider them training sessions! (Okay, I'd be lying if I said I am actually embracing the opportunities, but it sounded good!)
These come in mostly audio form, so I've been listening to them in the car as I transport the kids back and forth from school. This morning, the lesson was hitting so close to home that I turned to Micah and actually told him it was sort of freaking me out that this guy seemed to know EXACTLY what is happening in our house. A moment later, Lehman began talking about the problem with casing, which would take a whole nother blog post to explain. Either way, I initially thought he said, "The problem with Kasey" and immediately hit the off button. I told Micah this whole thing was getting waaayy too personal for me. He gave me that silly smile he gives when he is really thinking I'm half crazy, but loves me too much to actually say it. And then he informed me what the guy had actually said. Goes to show you just how touchy I am about the subject!! :)
Anyway, I am learning that I am a very defensive parent. When I tell a child to do something and am met with a negative response, I immediately begin to justify the reason why I need my request to be met. My kids have trained me to tip-toe around there trigger points. If I know something is likely going to be met with a struggle, I am very apt to avoid it entirely. I want to learn, and in turn teach my children, that it is okay not to like everything. They don't have to have warm, fuzzy feeling about cleaning their room or completing their homework. But they do need to learn to channel those feelings appropriately and obey in spite of them. Kids are so inclined to think things aren't fair or to play the victim of mistreatment. My job as a parent is to instill in them how futile it is to focus on fairness. An example Lehman gave, which made my kids laugh, was of a driver who decided that he didn't feel much like following the posted speed limit. Upon being pulled over and issued a speeding ticket, how much weight do you think telling the officer that the speed limit isn't fair will carry?? Absolutely none. In fact, that officer is very likely to have a good laugh at the absurdity of such an excuse for a violation of law.
Obviously, parenting is tough and intensely complex. It is a rough world to grow up in, with distractions everywhere that threaten to pull our kids hearts away from us. Grieving children, whether due to death, divorce or some other tragic situation have an even more difficult road. Encourage those mothers (and fathers) around you. Offer a hand when it seems appropriate. Be quick to assist and VERY SLOW to judge. That child who is laying prostrate on the floor of the grocery store screaming for all he's worth has a story. And the mother (or father) who seems, at a glance, to be so miserably failing in his/her role also has a story. You just never know. If nothing else seems appropriate, offer a smile and a quick prayer on their behalf. And then commit yourself to parenting the child YOU have! Pin It
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Kids and Careers
I have reached an impasse. I know that I need to do something more with myself, but I can't decide just what. Raising five kids is EXPENSIVE and I know we've only just scratched the financial surface. They are going to continue to grow and have costlier needs. Yikes. The very thought of forever trying to make ends meet makes me tired. So it is clear that I must figure out how to increase my income.
What I think I would love to do is something in the health/fitness field. I love exercise and find it fascinating the way the human body works. But I find myself curiously hesitant to make the leap. It isn't lack of desire that keeps me from going for it, but the fear of failure. I simply don't want to invest all that money in certifications if it doesn't end up as lucrative as I need it to be. And I know it is likely something that would take time to become established in just to secure a client base. But I really want (and need) something that offers some flexibility of hours. Between getting kids to and from school, being there for them once they're home, doctor's appointments, dental check-ups and everything else...yeah, I need some wiggle room. I am super blessed with a job and a boss that allows me to tend to my family at the moment. Sooo thankful for that!
Decisions, decisions!! Pin It
What I think I would love to do is something in the health/fitness field. I love exercise and find it fascinating the way the human body works. But I find myself curiously hesitant to make the leap. It isn't lack of desire that keeps me from going for it, but the fear of failure. I simply don't want to invest all that money in certifications if it doesn't end up as lucrative as I need it to be. And I know it is likely something that would take time to become established in just to secure a client base. But I really want (and need) something that offers some flexibility of hours. Between getting kids to and from school, being there for them once they're home, doctor's appointments, dental check-ups and everything else...yeah, I need some wiggle room. I am super blessed with a job and a boss that allows me to tend to my family at the moment. Sooo thankful for that!
Decisions, decisions!! Pin It
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
A year older...TWICE!
We had two birthday's in less than two weeks in our house. Okay, so this does happen every year, but this time we really got serious about celebrating!! Alexander turned 9 toward the end of February. He really wanted to do something different than our usual...a meal of his choosing, cake and gifts. He ended up getting a home-cooked meal of his choosing, ice cream cake, gifts AND something different. :) We also went out for pizza that weekend and finished up with bowling. They had a BLAST!!! We invited some friends, so we ended up getting two lanes. One with bumpers (no gutter balls!!!) and one without. It was so much fun to watch those kids cheer each other on. It was beyond precious to watch the bigger boys helping those little girls, and then get all excited for them when the pins fell! I will admit to being very surprised that management didn't come over and escort my little Hannah from the building. She wasn't at all interested in placing the ball on the ground between her legs and pushing it. Oh no, this little competitor of mine was intent on doing it like the adults. The result was that every single ball first flew up into the air before landing with a crash and then finally rolling toward the pins. Amazingly, the floor held up to this abuse and it gave us a good laugh every time!
Then 10 days later was Nikolas' birthday. The poor boy was sick, so that was a bummer. We decided to wait until the weekend to really celebrate. He finally decided that he wanted to go to the theater to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. They'd never been to a movie, so they were all pretty excited. After we finally found seats where we could all sit together (which was no small feat as all showings that night were sold out) the first child piped up that they had to go potty. Yeah, great. We were in the very last row and the seats in that place were extremely close together. Think airplane seating, only worse. So we had to slide out bumping into each and every person in the row in front of us. And the best part is, we did this more than once. Note to self...do not splurge and buy drinks for the kids if we ever venture to the theater again! Anyway, once the movie finally got going the kids...especially the younger ones...were awestruck. Such a large screen and the sound comes from every direction. And then with those super-trendy 3D glasses we were all sporting, the people on the screen were constantly coming at us. Talk about cool. It was so funny to look over at them and see mouths gaping and straws clinging to lips that forgot they were supposed to be sipping. Everybody but Abby loved it. She was sitting on my lap, clinging to me. Pulling her glasses off did the trick. She just couldn't handle that third dimension!
All that to say, I think we have started a new tradition. It was immensely fun going out together and doing something out of the ordinary. And I've learned that I'd better get back on the Wii. I need to step up my game if I don't want to be made a fool of next time we bowl! Pin It
Then 10 days later was Nikolas' birthday. The poor boy was sick, so that was a bummer. We decided to wait until the weekend to really celebrate. He finally decided that he wanted to go to the theater to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. They'd never been to a movie, so they were all pretty excited. After we finally found seats where we could all sit together (which was no small feat as all showings that night were sold out) the first child piped up that they had to go potty. Yeah, great. We were in the very last row and the seats in that place were extremely close together. Think airplane seating, only worse. So we had to slide out bumping into each and every person in the row in front of us. And the best part is, we did this more than once. Note to self...do not splurge and buy drinks for the kids if we ever venture to the theater again! Anyway, once the movie finally got going the kids...especially the younger ones...were awestruck. Such a large screen and the sound comes from every direction. And then with those super-trendy 3D glasses we were all sporting, the people on the screen were constantly coming at us. Talk about cool. It was so funny to look over at them and see mouths gaping and straws clinging to lips that forgot they were supposed to be sipping. Everybody but Abby loved it. She was sitting on my lap, clinging to me. Pulling her glasses off did the trick. She just couldn't handle that third dimension!
All that to say, I think we have started a new tradition. It was immensely fun going out together and doing something out of the ordinary. And I've learned that I'd better get back on the Wii. I need to step up my game if I don't want to be made a fool of next time we bowl! Pin It
Monday, March 8, 2010
The Acceptance of Forgiveness
Do you ever just wish that everyone knew the circumstances in your life that have shaped you and brought you to where you are? Do you ever feel like crawling in a hole and hiding from the judging eye and critical thoughts of others? There are so many times when I want to stand up and shout out my version of why I am where I am. But to do so would be to talk someone else down and that is wrong. So I have to sit by knowing that people can only guess and assume based on what they do know. And that is hard. I'm sure my kids' Daddy struggles with this, too. Just wanting to be free to heal and grow but being held back by the perceived opinions of others. I struggle not wanting to go to church. What will they / do they think of me??? I struggle when I walk into my kids' school sometimes. Do they think I am an unfit mother? I have failed in one of the absolute most important things in life and that failure dogs my heels. I feel it every day, every moment. But deep within I know there are reasons for that failure and that God knows my heart. He knows that I did not want a broken family. I'm not saying He excuses my mistakes...not at all. But He does forgive. He knows that this world is more than willing to chew you up and spit you out without a thought. His own Son came and suffered so that one day we will no longer have to. I just have to keep reminding myself that even if His people don't know exactly what has brought me to this place, He knows. Every single detail. And He forgives me for my part in it (and I know He forgives my ex-husband for his part as well). My goal is to learn to accept that forgiveness!
Pin It
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
