A blind eye

I read a story to the Pre-K class last week about two pigs who were neighbors, but complete opposites. One was timely and tidy and organized. The other was always late, finally arriving in a disheveled array of disorganization. The first was puffed up and proud! His neighbor was frustrated and ashamed. One afternoon both received letters from God asking them to come meet with him. At the appointed time Pig #1 set off for his meeting certain that God was going to present him with a grand award. After all, he was a pretty spectacular pig. He arrived and waited expectantly for the commendation. The first thing the Lord told him was, "I love you!" Of course you do, thought Mr. Pig! Who wouldn't? But then the Lord said something that sent him reeling. "I love you, but you aren't as good as you think you are."

Now Pig #2 had a very different experience as he prepared for his meeting with God. He was nervous and frightened and nothing went right as he readied himself. But flaws and all, he headed out. He went in trembling before his Maker and stood there sure of what was to come. Certainly this couldn't be good. Like He had with Pig #1, the Lord first said, "I love you." In shock the little pig wondered how it could be. The Lord continued on and said again, "I love you." Did he have the right guy, the pig wondered? "And finally," the Lord said, "I want you to know that I love you!"

I couldn't begin to count the number of times that I have sent one of my kids to go get something, only to have them return milliseconds later without it. "I can't find it" is a phrase I hear all too often. My natural response is to tell them to go back and look more carefully.

Today another such situation arose and I found myself struggling to maintain my calm as this child came back to me empty-handed three times. I knew exactly where it was. I told her where it was. I finally went up to show her myself that it was where I told her it would be.

It wasn't there.

Hours later, I still haven't located it. But it did get me thinking. I believe it is important to teach my kids to pay attention to the little details and put their full effort into whatever task is placed before them. However, there are times when not being detail-oriented is good. When there is something to be said for not noticing everything. Even more so, not looking for certain things. Especially when it involves the shortcomings of others.

Instead of just prodding my children to look longer and harder, perhaps I should be teaching them to seek out only the details that really matter. Some things are worth looking for. Others are worth overlooking. I should be encouraging them to turn their critical eye inward so that they might better see themselves. We so often excuse our own mistakes and poor choices but harshly judge the people around us. Somehow our own life can appear less dingy if we focus on someone else who outwardly seems worse off.

Like the second pig in the story, we should do our very best and present ourselves before God with a pure heart. It isn't important that we are perfect in every (or any!) way. But simply that we do the best with where we are at the moment, and with His help, determine to move forward. We must also never forget that those around us have unique experience and circumstances which have shaped and molded them. It is always appropriate to pray for each other. But beyond that in most cases, the "parenting" should be left up to God. And if it isn't ours to fix, then neither should it be ours to dwell on or judge.

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Slow down, Abigail!

Tuesday of this week marked the beginning of Abby's sixth year of life. As is natural when your youngest child celebrates yet another birthday, I have found myself thinking back over her little life. Pitifully, I remember I cried when I found out a baby was on the way....again. I was exhausted and drained from the four pregnancies that preceeded her in rapid fire. Hannah was only around 7 months old and the timing seemed all wrong to me. But God had a plan.



Born three weeks early she started out life quietly, not crying much. By this point I had gotten pretty good at anticipating the needs of a little one and meeting them before the cries came to demand it. Either that, or her sweet nature just didn't allow for much fussing. Regardless, she was sunshine and smiles everywhere we went. Six years later, she still tugs at our hearts.



With three boys in the house standing on the brink of the teen years, there is a LOT of good-natured tussling and noise. Amidst bellies that never seem to get quite full and energy levels that leave me standing in wonder, Abigail sits quietly coloring and singing. She always has a song, whether it is one she has learned or one she is making up on the spot. Being a kindergartner now (big mommy pout!!!) she usually sneaks her letters and numbers into her drawings. Most nights find me making dinner with Abby and Hannah perched on kitchen stools, crayons in hand.



Seems unbelievable that our "baby" is so grown up already. I can't begin to imagine the day when little arms are no longer wrapping themselves about my neck or when my lap is no longer occupied by warm bodies. If only we could just find the perfect moment in life and freeze it so that it wouldn't scurry away. But then the trouble would be which perfect moment to choose!!

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A Smile for Every Season

I saw a man as I drove home from work today and for some reason the sight of him is still lodged in my head. He was walking up the road, bent over just slightly. His weathered skin and rounded back testified to many years enduring the hardships of this world. What stuck with me, however, was not his posture or even the sure step that still carried him to where he needed to go. It was the small smile that played upon his lips. I was driving so I didn't get a close look, but I imagine there was a bit of twinkle in his eye. He seemed to have a peace that so many of us are missing. I don't know his story, but very likely he has survived his share of heartache and struggle. You don't live that many years beyond the reach of tragedy and death. Yet on this beautiful fall afternoon, he strolled up the road smiling.

I am sometimes struck by how seldom I come across somebody who looks relaxed and at peace. Yesterday afternoon my family returned from a trip and I had to run quickly into the grocery store to grab a few items for lunches. As I was checking out, I noticed the young lady behind me. She had a very small baby in her cart sleeping soundly and as she stood patiently in line she wore the most beautiful smile. She was unaware that I had even glanced her way but she left her mark on me. We are always so hurried as we rush from here to there with to-do lists a mile long. It made me wonder how often I actually adorn myself with a look of happiness as I go about the business at hand. Do I get so caught up in what I must accomplish that I wear that tight, pinched look I see so often in the grocery store or gas station? How many people have looked at me and seen just another person who is rushing through life stressed and exhausted? If I had run into that same young mother today would she see me and be encouraged? Sadly, I fear not.

Fall is a strange paradox to my mind. The things of nature are slowly dying all around me, yet everything seems new and cozy. The air feels crisp and clean and it is a balm for the soul to be out in it. The canopy of fall colors erupting from trees that just weeks ago stood proud and green is spectacular to behold. Even the scattering of leaves that have begun to carpet the lawns and fields are inviting. It's little wonder that children love to push them into huge piles and dive in! The Master Creator offers us beauty even now, as all of nature prepares to rest. And somehow that beauty is all the more breathtaking knowing that before long winter will have its way. There really is no time for sour faces and bad attitudes. Face life with a smile. A grin even. Because even the harshest Winter eventually gives way to Spring.

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Notes to Self

1. If taking 5 children into the grocery store straight from Clash Day at school, be prepared for the strange looks that will certainly be cast your way. Not only is it just slightly bizarre to have five kids these days, but when they are dressed in embarrassingly mismatched outfits (including pajama pieces scattered about) and shoes it is even worse. Not only do you obviously have no concept of family planning but you have no doubt given up trying to maintain any semblance of an ordinary family!
2. Also when making said trip into the grocery store for "just a few items" don't cringe in horror when the register tally is over $100. Just be thankful that it was payday and you won't be back to counting out change to complete purchases for at least a week! Just kidding.

3. Just plain stop being shocked when you see your 7 year old daughter running around in pants that don't even quite reach the ankle and find upon questioning that they are in fact NOT her little sisters. Chalk it up to yet another growth spurt and smile and pretend you are as excited as she is that her height is nearly the same as the brother who is 2 1/2 years older. And keep that smile pasted on as you sign at the X to purchase clothing that will fit properly...for about a month!

4. When you arrive at school in the morning and notice that your son has one black ankle sock and one white tall sock (and it is NOT Clash Day) pretend that you appreciate his uninhibited approach to life and say nothing. Resist the urge to go into the school and tell everybody that you actually do laundry and the child really does have clean--and matching--socks at home!

5. When your 5 year old wants to help clean and proceeds to wipe down windows (that were in reality already clean) with the rag that was just used to scrub the bathroom, don't fret. It's nothing that a half hour of your precious time can't fix after she has scampered off to draw again and can't see you do-over her work. Repeat to yourself that it's all in the attitude!

6. When your 11 and 12 year old sons challenge you to a wrestling match, taunting that they can easily take you, go ahead and trash talk back with full confidence in yourself. And then when the match actually starts and you find that with every day you have grown older they have gained in strength and endurance, do the one thing you have going for you...tickle them. It's about the only way to save face and keep them clinging to the idea that just possibly Mom still has it!

7. Likewise when your son wants to arm wrestle and you find yourself suddenly linking hands with a skinny version of Arnold Schwarzeneggar there is no shame in praying for the phone to ring at just that moment. But if you are really smart(and not competitive to a fault!) you will find a way out of the challenge to begin with!

8. When your sweet little girl begs to be picked up for a hug upon arriving home from dining out and you oblige only to find that beneath her cute dress she has no panties...don't give it a single thought.  Modesty is good, overreacting and missing the lovin' is not!


9. Don't overreact when you spend more than an hour preparing a nice meal for supper and then not 30 minutes after the meal has been cleared away somebody asks you what is for supper. Their lack of working brain cells that actually communicate with their stomachs is no reflection on your skill in the kitchen!

10. Realize that your children's idea of fun is not always deeply compatible with your own. Being the mommy dog AGAIN is not the worst thing in the world. Having kids who don't want to play with you is!

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