These Five of Mine

Free to Grow

2012-02-10T06:44:00.001-05:00

A spill on my carpet will have me on my hands and knees with a brush and cleanser. I'll scrub with all my might until the stain is gone. When a glass of juice tips at the dinner table, a quick swipe with a wet rag doesn't do much to fix the problem. In fact, it spreads it. Setting aside my meal for a minute to carefully scrub it ensures that there will be no stickiness later.

You see, I like for my home to be tidy and well-ordered. I'm not comfortable living in a mess, so I spend a lot of time and energy maintaining aesthetics. Why then, am I satisfied to simply swipe at the flawed character of my children? What makes me so quick to give them a surface "cleaning" when what they need is a heart-deep "scrubbing"?

Yesterday had me cringing! We had bickering among the five oldest, chores that were being half-heartedly done, school work that wasn't getting done, and a general bad attitude flowing through the house. I listened to it and swiped at it all morning. I chided and encouraged and then stood back and hoped things would improve.

They didn't!

As I grew more and more frustrated at the bitterness and laziness that had abducted our peace, I decided it was time to take serious action. I called them all into the living room, in my unloveliest of voices, and sat them down for a firm talking to. But what I saw sitting there knocked the wind right out of me.

Five faces that seemed almost relieved that action was finally being taken. They just sat, looking at me expectantly. I got the sickening feeling that they were actually glad I was about to take them in hand. They were uncomfortable living in their messy little characters, but needed my guidance to help them get things back in order.

We reviewed the house rules. I reiterated the fact that those rules, while very basic, are to be obeyed. I set up some boundaries that school work would be done within. All good things, but they really weren't going to fix anything.

Early this morning when I woke, the Lord had a word for me. He sat me down, gently but firmly, and showed me the root of the problem. He played this past week in review for me and waited to see if I picked up on it. I'm slow and stubborn and it took some time. Thankfully, He's patient, and He knew if I was given a moment I'd catch on. And I did.

I've been treating my children as an inconvenience. I expect that since I have laid down the law, it will be followed to the letter. When that fails to happen, I fuss and scold...which is like spraying a pre-treater on a stain after it has set. It really does nothing, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something.

But the Lord wasn't done yet. He showed me Matthew 18 and the servant who had his huge debt forgiven by the king, only to turn around and harshly demand payment of a small sum owed to him by a fellow servant. What a ridiculous display of ingratitude for the mercy extended to him.

Yet, I do the same to my children. I forget that for 35 years the Lord has gently and lovingly guided me, never throwing my awful character back in my face or making unreasonable demands that I be perfect right now! When I'm grumpy, He shows me a better way. When I'm lazy, He allows me to suffer the natural consequences without nagging or scolding.

He wants my heart, not my good works. And He wants me to seek out the hearts of my children, freeing them to grow "to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ." They can't do it with me squashing their spirits. They need me to be holding their hands!

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This post linked up with: Your Thriving Family

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Don't forget to join Gail today at The Imperfect Housewife for her post in the series...

Keeping perspective...

2012-02-09T07:26:00.001-05:00

The doors arelocked and the curtains drawn. Youare home alone with your family. Do your interactions and work ethic remain consistent with what you typeout on the keyboard for the blogging community to read? If your husband or children were askedto describe you in 10 words or less, would your readers be able to recognizeyou?

It can be a bittricky to gain traction in a cyber-world saturated with wonderful Christianblogs. And it is easy to run onahead with your outreach, leaving yourself…your true self...behind. As one that started a blog for mostlypersonal use and has since slowly transitioned into a slightly broader sphere,I’d like to offer a few tips:

Itisn’t a competition. It is so easyto do a bit of blog hopping and end up feeling like a very small fish in a verybig sea. The reality is, youare. There will always besomebody out there doing bigger and better things. Invite God to be the Administrator and be content to simplybe the author. Speak the words Hegives you.

Thereis a line between a bit of self-promotion and promoting self. If you are blogging with outreach or ministry in mind, your "mission field" is only as big as the Lord determines. Don't focus on trying to reach thousands if He is placing you in the midst of 50. Give those precious few the message He has laid on your heart and rest in Him to send more if and when the time is right. Remember it isn't a popularity contest...you are simply offering people to partake of the Water of Life that comes forthfrom your spring.

Bereal, but keep positive. It’s okayto be transparent and raw, while maintaining a balance that glorifies God. It isn’t entirely appealing to come toa blog day after day to see and hear about somebody’s “perfect” life. But neither is it terribly enticing tohear what a dreadful sinner with little hope for redemption they are all thetime. Embracing “real” means beingimperfect but allowing God to do a work in you that progressively takes more ofthe ugly out!

Begenuine in the relationships your form within the blogging community. Allow for a bit of time to pop aroundto other blogs and offer a word of encouragement. Your readers don’t want to feel that you are unreachable. They want to connect with you and knowthat there is a flesh and body person behind the posts they are reading. If you come across something youappreciate, let them know! When you are reading a post, truly process what it is about and comment accordingly. Sincerityis tangible.

Andfinally, think carefully about your topics. Consider if what you are posting will add to or detract fromthe Gospel of our Lord. Ventingabout the immodest dress of the neighbor lady or the drunken habits of the manacross the street may make you feel better, but it won’t likely offer aspiritual boost to your readers. Generally speaking, it is a good rule to be sure that if yourpost is about somebody, they are castin a positive, compassionate light. Or at the very least, that your message draws your readers’hearts nearer to the Father.

Most importantly, keep God at the forefront of your blogging experience. Filter your words through Him as youtype them and then again before you publish. The advantage to web relationships is that you can easilyreach many. The disadvantage isthat it can be difficult to convey your heart behind a message without your toneof voice and inflections to offer some insight. Be prayerful. Scoot over and let Him take charge!

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Linked up with The Imperfect Housewife and Our Simple Country Life

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Join sweet Renee at I Am the Clay today for the next post in the series...

A smile just for me...

2012-02-08T06:06:00.000-05:00

I'm tired. The day has been long and bed can't come soon enough. I work quickly to make sure the house is in order for morning. As I turn toward the kitchen, I see him.

Scooping up shoes and straightening the couch and closing the blinds. His shoulders sag just a bit from another 12 hour shift and long commute.

Our eyes meet and he smiles. The kind of smile that is meant just for me. The one that is slow and sure and just a bit arrogant. And it works it's magic.

I find myself relaxing. The tension of the day giving way to the gift of partnership. To the assurance that he's got my back.

And suddenly my burden doesn't seem quite so...burdensome. Because I am reminded that being a wife and mother isn't always only about what you put into it. Sometimes it really is about what you get out of it! And that is a blessing that shouldn't be overlooked!!

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This post linked up with: Deep Roots at Home, Women Living Well and Raising Homemakers

Raising Mighty Arrows

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Join Karen at Victorian Rose for today's post in the...